Week 2 Story: The Hare in the Moon
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| Source: Rabbit in the Moon. |
The Hare in the Moon
And it came to pass the Buddha was born a Hare and lived in the woods. With him lived many friends, and he taught those friends–animals and humans alike–many wise things: that the moral law should be observed–that alms should be given to the poor–and that holy days should be kept.
An old friend and Cheesemaker came to Buddha. "I have nothing to give, oh wise Hare. For I have nothing to myself. My goats and cattle ran out of good grass in my fenced fields, and I cannot let them out because a Tiger has been taking them. My animals are starving, and I cannot make any cheese."
The Hare, thinking in contemplation on the Kusha Grass said "bring them here. I shall feed them my own grass and protect them." To which the Cheesemaker replied, "oh great Hare, but how will you protect them, against such treacherous beast." The Hare replied, "I have no claws or sharp teeth, nor great strength or power. If the beast appears, I will give him my own flesh to eat, in place of theirs." The Cheesemaker agreed to bring them.
The Tiger replied: "O most wise Hare! I am Sakka, and have come to put your virtue to the test."
And the Buddha in a sweet voice said: "No god or man could find in me an unwillingness to die."
Then Sakka said: "O wise Hare, be thy virtue known to all the ages to come."
Sakka then proceded to create cheese, lots of cheese. Enough cheese to fill the Cheesemaker's cellar ten fold, enough to feed the entire village. But he was not done yet, he created a great cheese wheel, the whitest and brightest cheese wheel you have ever seen. Round and big, very big, bigger than a mountain. He carved on it the imaged of the Hare, and placed it on the heavens, among the stars, for all the world to see.
Author Notes:
I liked the story of The Hare that was not Afraid to Die, I found it really interesting, but I also wanted to incorporate an extra element to the story, that is, the moon is actually made of cheese. It was really hard for me to merge the moon cheese and moon rabbit stories in a cool way, but I really liked how it came out. I changed a lot of the story. I took out the other main characters and introduced the Cheesemaker, and I definitely changed the ending.
Hi Kevin
ReplyDeleteAs a buddhist herself, I really enjoyed this story. The moon cheese was a very brilliant comparison tovthe moon. I know a couple of people think the moon kind of looks like a big cheese wheel. I thought the story was written very well and the changes were very subtle. I can't imagine how all that cheese would even be like. I wonder what kind of cheese it is. However, good job!
-Anhthu
to the*
DeleteI apologize for my grammatical error
Hey Kevin! Interesting story! The second sentence is a bit confusing and long, it might help you focus your story if you shorten it a little. The opening paragraph is important to hook the reader. The second from last sentence says "very big" and I think that could be omitted and the sentence would have the same effect. Overall a very interesting story and I liked it a lot! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story and how the Hare offered up his own flesh in order to protect the others. I also enjoyed how the moon is made from cheese because people really do fantasize that the moon is made of cheese due to the craters. It was an interesting twist on the story. I also enjoyed how the Hare was tested by a tiger and was able to uphold his initial statement.
ReplyDeleteHi Kevin,
ReplyDeleteThis was an unexpected ending!
I liked that you took the framing device directly from the source stories, and I thought that the long first sentence was good, maybe it would help those who are confused if you switched the first pair of em-dashes for commas and the rest (the ones in the list) for commas or semicolons.
I know you said in your author's note that you had difficulty incorporating the whole cheese thing, and I'd agree that if you're gonna go for it, you have to go all the way! I think it would be great if you incorporated it through the whole story, perhaps having the Buddha incarnated not as a Hare but as something more relevant to cheese, and so on. Maybe add some more cheese puns -- I, for one, always like good cheese puns (and good cheese).
Thanks for the story,
A.
Hey Kevin, what a great story! I thought it was really creative of you to have the god come down as a tiger and test the hare and that the hare actually would offer up his life. The hare did not want glory but the good of his fellow man and animals and in the end, got both by being virtuous. What made you want to revolve the story around cheese? I also was wondering why the cheesemaker could not protect his animals? Maybe you could add in that he was an elderly man and could not stay up to protect them and his strength was not what it used to be. When I was reading the story I also was kind of confused on what you meant by fast day. I think it would be helpful to maybe explain what that is or the significance of this day. It may seem like unimportant information but I think it could enhance the experience for the reader so that they have more details to help imagine the situation. Keep up the great story telling!
ReplyDeleteHi Kevin! I really enjoyed this story because it set the scene for a great story that teaches a good lesson. I enjoy ones that have a positive outcome and show that a good deed does go a long way, in this case the Hare sacrificing himself. I think you did a great job of adding in specific little details or parts that added content to the story to make it more interesting, like the setting of the story and everything. I wonder what would have happened if the Hare had not done what he promised and actually offered up the cattle to the "tiger" and what may have been the outcome. However, your version of this story was very interesting and I really enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteKevin,
ReplyDeleteThe ending of your story had me smiling. It's not often that you see a plot twist come out of nowhere near the very end of a story. It was fitting and had a relatable component to it; who hasn't seen the moon? With the face of the hare no longer being visible on our moon, maybe the effects within its atmosphere caused the face to fade over time! I love the open-end of your story that leave it to the reader to ponder its current day implications.
-Lance J.